


"Please...don't go."

by LexInWonderland



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Scene, Begging, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of the Army
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22905805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexInWonderland/pseuds/LexInWonderland
Summary: Ian is planning on going to the army before he even turns 18. But Mickey can't live without Ian. Because whether he likes to admit it or not, he loves him. More than anything in this miserable ass world. And he makes him a better person. And he can't be without him. Because being apart hurts too much...
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 1
Kudos: 60





	"Please...don't go."

I hear a noise downstairs. Front door opening then closing, conversation. Mandy's gotta fuckin' be talkin' to someone. But who the hell would see her? Especially right now? Like, right after she got home from school. That just makes no goddamn sense. I hear more conversation. Who the fuck is talking to her?!  
  
"Who's at the goddamn door?!" I shout. Curiosity is really fucking with me now.  
  
"It's for me, shithead!" She responds. Ok, now I really gotta see who it is. More conversation. I come out into the entryway to see...Ian. Wow, he looks better each time I see him. He looks away as soon as he notices me walking into the room out of the corner of his eye. I feel I should break the ice or some shit. He's usually not this silent.  
  
"Hey. Up to four sets of 20." I show him the barbell I'm holding. He's not impressed. More goddamn silence. I try to keep this smile on my face, but it kinda hurts. Not the smile but...my heart. Seeing his little to no reaction. It just...hurts so much. And...why the hell does it hurt?  
  
"Get in here. I want to show you something. Come on, come check it out." I lead him to my room. There's a pretty noticeable difference. But he doesn't even bother to comment on it. Maybe...he doesn't notice.  
  
"Wife made me take all my nazi shit down," I point out. "She hates nazis." I set the barbell I was holding down and continue to explain. "Apparently the Russians kicked some serious Kraut aAss In World War II," I go to my dresser and grab a cigarette, "S she can drink me under the fucking table, man. It's weird." I light the cigarette but continue the one person conversation we're having.  
  
"Anyways," I continue after releasing a cloud of smoke, "She's working tomorrow night." I walk over to the doorway where Ian stands. Hopefully, he'll take the proposition I'm about to offer. I just, really fucking miss me. Against my skin. It's magic when I'm with him. And I just...need magic in my life right now...  
  
"Why don't we pick up where we left off? Figure she's gonna be out fucking dudes. Why can't I?"  
  
But he just simply shakes his head and says, "No thanks." Oh... _I see_ how he wants to do this...  
  
"Mm. Hard to get's getting me hard, Gallagher." And I am, and it feels so fuckin' good.   
  
"I'm, uh, leaving town." I can't help but laugh. Yeah, bullshit. He'd never leave his family. I mean sure, Frank is a major dickbag. But he loves his family. Why would he just up and fucking leave?  
  
"There a queer rights rally somewhere?" I say as I walk back to my dresser to grab the beer can that sits on top of it.   
  
"Army." He says matter-of-factly.  
  
"Ah! Right. You gotta be 18." I say before taking a sip.  
  
"Yeah, I figured a way around that." I feel my heart drop into my fucking stomach. He isn't serious is me? He realizes he could get _killed_ right?! I can't lose him! Especially not after my dad forced me to marry that fuckin' hooker! He's the only thing that keeps me stable anymore! How am I gonna survive without him?!  
  
"You serious? You're signing up?" I set the can down. He isn't bullshitting me. He's dead serious.  
  
"Tomorrow morning." He responds. No...no, that gives me no time to talk him out of it. Like...10 hours? If not less?! No..he...he can't _do_ this! Not to...not to... _us!  
  
_ "That's a dumb-ass fucking move. How long?" I look at him, focus not breaking.  
  
"Four years - minimum." Christ, he's not even 18 yet! He can't do this! Doesn't he know how much this is gonna hurt me?!  
  
"What are you hoping, I tell you not to go? I'm gonna chase after you like some bitch?" But...why do I wanna do that? I can't let him go.  
  
"Didn't come here for you." Those words break my fucking heart.  
  
"Don't..." I plead. I'm welling up. I usually try not to cry. But I can't help it this time...I feel too attached to him to let him go. Like he's tethered to me or some shit.   
  
"Don't what?" He speaks coldly.  
  
"Just-" I can't say the words, then I hear Mandy speak. I don't hear the words she says. They're drowned out by my own tears. I faintly hear footsteps down the stairs. No...no I can't let him go. I run outside, and just as Ian is about to walk past our house, I do when I gotta do.  
  
"Ian!" I cry out, voice strangled. He turns, I don't think I've cried harder in my life. But...Ian...he is my life. He's my fuckin' everything. Without him, it feels like I'm caving in. Suffocating on my own suckage and problems. So bad no one will ever be able to save me...ever.  
  
"Please...don't...don't go." He looks perplexed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Please...don't go." I make it to the lawn. He's right behind the gate. He's so close...but he feels so far away. My heart is breaking. I can't let him go.  
  
"Why? Why shouldn't I go?!" He raises his voice.  
  
"Because I love you!" I say at an equally loud volume. Did I just...say that? The words don't seem to register. "I love you and...I can't let you leave. If you...die, and you never know how I feel. I-" I walk to the edge of the gate and take his hand. And place it on my chest. My heart is pounding violently against my ribcage. Pulsing and beating like there's no tomorrow.  
  
"Feel that?" He nods numbly. "This is what you do to me. It's not just physical. It's not just hard-ons or...hormones. It's feelings. It's emotions. It's...It's... _love."_ I can't believe I'm confessing all this shit on my own fucking lawn. But it's either now or never, I guess. "Don't believe me, if you want," I say as I let his hand fall away. "But this inside me. It doesn't lie. My heart breaks every time you leave a room. It broke when my dad made me marry that fucking bitch! Because...I only want you, Ian!"  
  
After a while, he speaks. "Why are you just telling me this now?" He speaks with disbelief.  
  
"Because I was scared I might never see you again. I was too afraid to admit it to myself. But...then I realized. What's more important: my pride...or my feelings for you? And you won by a fucking landslide!" This makes him laugh. And I finally see that genuine Gallagher smile I love so much.  
  
"So...what do you say?" I'm worried he doesn't feel the same.  
  
"I love you too, Mickey." I grin from ear to ear. Must look like a fuckin' mad man.

"So...please. Don't want you to join the army." He looks up. "I don't want you to die, Ian."  
  
"There's no guarantee I'm gonna die..." He tries to reassure me.  
  
"But there's no guarantee you'll live. You know how people see queers like us in other countries. Kill us for being fags every day. But it's who we are! And...I can't let that happen to you. Even if it was in the days of that 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' bullshit. I...I worry about you. That you'll succumb to something you can't come back from...Ian...please, just listen to me this one time." I put his hand back where it was.  
  
"You're really reacting, Mick." He speaks wistfully.   
  
"Fuckin' right I am. So please." I open the gate. "Don't go..." He looks up at me and smiles. And I kiss him. I kiss him _hard_ _!_ To reaffirm how serious I am. And I can hear his moan trapped in the back of his throat. I wrap my arms around him and pull him close. "Let it all out, moan as loud as you want, Gallagher," I say against his lips before returning to the kiss. And moan he does! So loud the fucking neighbors probably would've complained if it wasn't still daylight.

"I fucking love you too, Mickey." He says against my lips. I drag him back inside. Up the stairs and pin him against my door as soon as I close it. Attacking his neck as soon as it's shut.   
  
"Fuck...Mick. OK, slow down." He gives us a distance between us. But right now, I'm so fucking hard. And he is too. "I want this but...maybe...we can...take it slow?" I give him a look and he just nods. "Ahh, fuck it!" He tosses his shirt onto the floor and attacks my lips with his. Shoving his tongue in my mouth. Both of ours battle for dominance as the taste of beer and nicotine is flooding both of our mouths. He pins me to my bed and I look up with wide eyes. I am _so_ ready for him to just take control.  
  
"Let's do this!" I give a grin equally mad and lustful as his. This is going to be _AMAZING!  
  
_

* * *

  
We pant heavily as we come down from the high. From one hell of a great run of marathon sex. I'm exhausted at this point but I can see manage to look over and smile at the boy next to me. He smiles softly at me and I open my arms, ones he scoots into.  
  
"How was that, Gallagher?" He kisses me then trails them down my neck.   
  
"Fucking. Fan-tas-tic!" Speaking each syllable of the last word between pecks.   
  
"I totally agree. But now I'm exhausted. Rest time for a bit?" He nods and wraps his arms around my waist. I lean my head against his as I let my eyes flutter closed.  
  
"See you when I wake up...Love you..." I drone as my eyes close.  
  
"Love you too."   
  
And I do. I love him so fucking much. And I'm so happy he loves me too.  
  



End file.
